I absolutely love this photo. This is actually a candid, accidental shot that @rentillolea took of me prior to me making an idiot of myself trying to get back up on the balsa hahaha! It's not the most posey, most awrahan photo, but I just love how I look so happy in this photo. Genuinely happy and enjoying life, with illogical fear thrown out the window.
I have always been the type to hold my head high even in the midst of adversity, of pain and yes, of suffering. My friends and I were already in our late 20's when they found out about the extreme struggles and hardships I experienced back when we were still in our early teens. They only found out about the real reason behind my heartbreak 6 years later - some actually still don't know all the details LOL. I don't know - I've just always been very private when it came to "serious" things, the things that cause immense pain and in some cases, trauma. I've been told countless times, "you're very good at pretending you are an open book, but you're not". To which I'd just smile and say, "well the extended version isn't for everyone".
As I approach my mid-30s, I've finally been able to heal. From past pains and traumas, heal wounds inflicted by words so carelessly said, repair the damage left by actions taken without respect or regard. I've let go and forgiven those who have hurt me in the past, and I've forgiven myself for allowing these feelings of inadequacy, of not being worthy, of not being enough infiltrate and rule my life for so long. I have forgiven myself for giving way too much, understanding more than was fair and for loving others more than they want and more importantly, more than they deserve.
This is me, at almost-34, happy. With myself, by myself and living for myself. After always putting others before me, always considering others' growth before my own, after always sacrificing my life in the desire to allow others to live better, I take back my power! This is now my season... it is my time now!
#BeachReflections #DagatDiaries #TalitalinuhanSaDagat #WowDeep #AbanganAngSusunodNaKabanata #EffYourBeautyStandards #sjcamph